Lexiograms

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More funny email to share.  Well, it might depend on your definition of funny.

You say you don’t know what a lexiogram is?
These will clear that up.

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. A properly written will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
6. If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
9. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

11. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
12. A lot of money is tainted. “Taint yours and taint mine.”
13. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
14. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
15. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
16. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
17. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
18. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
19. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
20. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

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