When someone walks into my messy house it makes me feel embarrassed, exposed, and ashamed of every bit of fun time I took for myself. I think those guilty feelings are unnecessary.
I’m not advising you to forget cleaning when you invite someone over. I’m saying that sometimes it’s good to just say, “Come on in. This is my home. This is how I live.”
In high school I checked my hair a lot. Most high school girls do. I remember my mother saying, “If they are really your friend they will like you whether your hair is messed up or not.” Made me think then; Makes me chuckle now. Now I change it to, “True friends will still like me after they see my messy house.”
I remember a few times when we had friends into our house without a second of clean-up. I’m glad we did. Usually they were another family with children close to the same age as our children so they understood. [The first time they came over it was nice and clean.] You know what? They’re still our friends. If anything I think they are closer friends than they would have been if I’d said, “Sorry, we’ll have to stay outside because I didn’t get a chance to clean up.”
I can’t say it didn’t bother me that my house was messy. But when I look back I first remember the fun we had, the laughter and the food we shared.
I don’t want to say what Erma Bombeck said, I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.” I want to invite them over while I can.
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What a great article, and of course you’re absolutely right. Your home is just that, as our good friends.
I remember the swat-like houses I lived in when I was younger and well if the truth been known I was soooo happy because I had ‘my house’.
Now I am older everything has changed and often I think the same kind of thoughts which you mention above. its strange how things turn out huh!
Yes, things change. I just do the best I can now.
I always tell my close friends, “You know you’re in my inner circle when you see my house messy.” If I don’t know someone I like my house pristine but once we’re close, they get the real deal. 7 people (five which are children) in a little house can make quite a mess.
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Yes. I’m hoping that once my kids are a bit bigger it will be neater, but for now their play is their learning time.
It is freeing to be “real” with people. I still panic a little when someone comes over and my house is a pit. But, when I’ve gone over to a friend’s house, a little bit of mess makes me relax – they’re just like me. A little messy, a little real.:)
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That’s a good point! A little mess makes me feel more at home.
Great post and so true! I love your comparison of high school hair to our clean/ not so clean houses now. That is sooo me!
I never went anywhere without a comb and mirror in those days. Now…well…LOL