The father of a dear friend of ours recently graduated to Heaven. We had visited with him during the time he was on hospice. He sang “Jesus Loves Me” with my children, but they didn’t know him much besides that.
After prayer, I decided to take my children with me to the viewing. I told them that a viewing was a time to go and give hugs to our dear friend who was sad.
I knew there would be questions, but I wasn’t sure what they would be. They mainly came from my 4 year old because my 6 year old looked at the people more than the coffin. Thankfully I was able to answer the hardest questions by using an illustration that my Aunt Heather [who is not much older than me] told me a while ago.
If you explain that the body is like a glove and the soul/spirit is like the hand it makes it much easier for children to understand.
Have your children gone to a viewing or funeral? Do you know a good way to answer their questions?
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My kids have unfortunately been to 2 funerals! Both of my grandfathers graduated to heaven(I really like that) within 2 months to each other. My kids were 4, 2, and 5months at the time. My oldest had alot of questions. I really feel the Lord gave me the words to say and her the understanding! She stayed close to Mommy, Mimi, or Papa and she actually went up to the casket and looked at Pap Stroupe and Papa Hindley. My dad explained to her that Papa wasn’t there anymore because he went to Heaven to be with Jesus! My only explanation is that the Lord helped her to understand because she was very calm and didn’t ask over and over again like she normally does! It was a rough time and I pray I don’t have to do it again for a very long time!!
I remember praying for you and yours during that time. Mine didn’t ask over and over either. Maybe they sensed how hard it was for you.
I try to avoid viewings myself, so I pretty much refuse to take my children to them. I like to remember people as they were alive. So that hasn’t been an issue.
Funerals, however, we’ve had plenty of. Thankfully, most of the people were believers – that’s a lot easier. Usually my kids questions center around dying, and who dies, and are they going to die, and when. It’s always a good time to talk about believing in Jesus and how happy people are in heaven and how they’re never sad to be there even though it makes us sad when we miss them. I also tell them that people die at all ages, but usually when they are very old, so they shouldn’t worry about it as long as they believe in Jesus. When Ethan was about three we had three family funerals within about 6 months and he was really getting obsessed with the topic and all of the questions – not fun. Thankfully by about age three all of my children did believe and that also made it much simpler, because when there was a younger one that brought on a new round of questions and also the older children would put pressure on the younger one to say a prayer, which Brian and I adamantly avoid.
Releasing balloons at a graveside can be a visual way for children to comprehend that while the body is going into the ground, the spirit has gone to God. And even if they don’t get it, kids like balloons, and it’s a nice way to celebrate life.
Love the balloon idea! Know what you mean about the older pressuring the younger.