This week is my 14th wedding anniversary and I’m writing on marriage related topics.
I love romance. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that I read a lot of romantic fiction. I think that – like most things in life – romance should be balanced. Starve a women of it OR smother a women with it and you will have problems. I also think that some wives too quickly use the lack of it as an excuse, but that’s a post for another time.
As a young teenage girl romance was flowers, chocolates, notes, phone calls, even a 3 cell maglite. One Sunday during our engagement was a Valentine’s Day and I had to work. It was quite a bummer. As I snuck out of church early to leave for work I noticed an extra passenger in the back seat – an adorable stuffed bear. It was a surprise because I had already gotten flowers and chocolate. At the time that was the epitome of romance to me – and I could brag about it to the other girls at work.
Through the years the romance has changed. I still enjoy getting flowers and especially chocolate, but I choose to look at other things as romantic also. My man takes the trash out every week. He’ll bring home a pizza or stromboli so I don’t have to cook. He puts the kids to bed, and when they were little he would dress them so I would have a chance to do something with my hair besides a pony tail. We share smiles across the room, and he stops at the piano to check if I’m ok.
I choose to see the love shining through the day to day acts. It was a choice to not be sad about things that he wasn’t doing, but be glad for all the things he does do. If nothing else he provides for us - and working hard is an act of love. It might be more or less of a struggle for you depending on what your and your husband’s Love Language is. One thing I do know is that getting mad at your husband and expecting him to figure out what to do won’t help matters. There is nothing wrong with giving strong hints about something you would like to have. Tip: Guys don’t usually get the subtle hints. They want to make you happy; so if you tell them what you like or want they can be happy as they make you happy.
Don’t forget to think about what you can do to make them happy. If you get so busy making them happy you won’t have to time to be sad about what you’re not getting.
P.S. This post is talking to the women and is in NO way an excuse for the husband to not bring home a gift once in a while!