This week is my 14th wedding anniversary and I’m writing on marriage related topics.
Every person that is interested in getting married someday should make a list - A list of qualities you want your future spouse to have. It’s best to do this during a time period when you’re not enamored or heartbroken.
It’s fine to put physical attributes, but make sure you think beyond that. My list had things like dark hair and older than me – but not too old. It also included practicing Christian [as #1] and interested in music. The taller than me quality was kind of assumed since I’m only 5 ft 1 and a half inches.
The physical attributes of a person can change in many ways – slowly or quickly; but the things that a person likes don’t drastically change. It was important to me that my husband like music. He didn’t have to be a virtuoso, but he had to be willing to attend concerts and sit through occasional musicals without falling asleep. Music is important to me and something I want to share with my best friend. I probably should mention that Joe used music to win me during our courtship by lending cds and hunting down hard to find musicals that I wanted to see – totally worked!
If you have a list you have a standard, a goal. When you are interested in someone you can check to see how well they match up to your list. At a time when your emotions are muddying the water you will have something to check. Will they meet every qualification? That depends on your list. If you write “millionaire” down you might have to settle for something a bit less. Thankfully I didn’t write that one. [Ready for some cheese?] We are rich in love.
Think and pray while you write your list. What qualities would you want a best friend to have? Those qualities should be very close to what you want your spouse to be like. Sharing experiences will help you stay closer together, and being able to do things you both like is a huge plus. Build a great friendship with your mate that will last for life.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Matthew 19:6a
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