This week we had to go clean our house that is for sale. It was dusty and dirty from sitting for so long.
The feelings that came the last time I walked in that door were not as strong this time. I carried boxes through that door with my engagement ring on my left hand. I walked through that door in my wedding dress as a new bride. I brought the new souvenirs from our honeymoon through that door. We brought each of our 3 babies home from the hospital and through that front door. That door opened for our 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 birds at different times through the 10 years we lived there. I pushed our dresser back out that door when we moved last April.
My husband and I had have a peace that we were to move out. I can think of 3 specific things we prayed about and the Lord answered in an affirmative way. We don’t understand why He seems to be leaving us on this next step and not helping us move on. Is it for me? What am I to learn? What job am I to do? Is it for someone else? Should we move back in? What does He want us to do? Wait is an answer to prayer even if it’s not the one that I want to hear right now.
During one of my struggles I read this post by Amy, who is pregnant and fighting cancer. This is what she wrote at the very end and it greatly blessed me:
Everything I understand and control could be contained in a drop of water compared to the ocean of knowledge and power that God has. Also, I have become absolutely convinced of God’s love for me (and for all of you too). When those two points of faith are combined, what’s left to worry about?
As I carried a bucket of cleaning supplies through that front door my feelings were not of missing the house nor the memories there, not of annoyance that I had to come clean it again; but of prayer that the Lord would enable the house to sell soon. That He would show me what I’m to do today.