Finding A Mate For Life

This week is my 14th wedding anniversary and I’m writing on marriage related topics. 

old couple on benchEvery person that is interested in getting married someday should make a list - A list of qualities you want your future spouse to have. It’s best to do this during a time period when you’re not enamored or heartbroken.

It’s fine to put physical attributes, but make sure you think beyond that. My list had things like dark hair and older than me – but not too old. It also included practicing Christian [as #1] and interested in music. The taller than me quality was kind of assumed since I’m only 5 ft 1 and a half inches.

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Celebrating 14 Years Of Marriage

Falling in love with someone isn’t always going to be easy…
anger… tears… laughter..
It’s when you want to be together despite it all.
That’s when you truly love another. I’m sure of it. ~Unknown

Joe and Jendi 1995

1995

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Romantic Ideas In Marriage

romantic proposalThis week is my 14th wedding anniversary and I’m writing on marriage related topics. 

I love romance. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that I read a lot of romantic fiction. I think that – like most things in life – romance should be balanced. Starve a women of it OR smother a women with it and you will have problems. I also think that some wives too quickly use the lack of it as an excuse, but that’s a post for another time.

As a young teenage girl romance was flowers, chocolates, notes, phone calls, even a 3 cell maglite. One Sunday during our engagement was a Valentine’s Day and I had to work. It was quite a bummer. As I snuck out of church early to leave for work I noticed an extra passenger in the back seat – an adorable stuffed bear. It was a surprise because I had already gotten flowers and chocolate. At the time that was the epitome of romance to me – and I could brag about it to the other girls at work.

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Marriage And Finances

cashWhoever makes the main income to support the marriage is the one that should manage the income.

This week is my 14th wedding anniversary and I’m going to write on marriage related topics. This one is my opinion about financial management in a marriage – obviously.

I started thinking about this during my teen years before I even knew who my husband would be, and decided that if my husband wanted me to be a SAHM then he would manage the finances.  My dad managed the household income with input from my mom and it worked out fine. I saw other couples [leaving out names] where the SAHM was left to worry over the income that she was to manage while the husband went and bought what he wanted. I made my easy decision that I would not manage the finances after marriage.

Then I got married.

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A Crazy Busy Engagment

He asked me to marry him on Flag Day; not by plan, just by happenstance.  It does make it easier to remember.  Since I had another year of night classes to finish we decided to marry the next spring.  Thus began one of the busiest years of my life.  I worked full time, planned a wedding, worked at a camp for a week, attended night classes and music lessons, talked on the phone to my fiance [a lot], totaled my car, house hunted, directed children’s choir at church, completed marriage counseling, did the normal things like eating and showering, and celebrated each month of our engagement.

memory-frame1Around the middle of each month we would do something more active than sitting at each other’s houses and watching movies.  We went to several live shows from high school to dinner theaters.  We went bowling and bought each other chocolate.  It’s mostly a blur with occasional times standing out in my mind.  The time he cooked a dinner and brought it to my house.  The time I cooked for him and we ate at a card table in my parent’s living room by candlelight.  The Easter basket he assembled just for me.  Him bringing lunch to me at my work.  The valentine’s day I had to leave church for work and found a gift in my car.  And always the letters back and forth. [Read more...]