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Motherhood: It’s a Tough Job

March 19, 2009 By 5 Comments

If someone ever indicates to me that I have an easy job because I’m a stay at home mom they better duck.  I’m more liable to deck them than to give a nice answer like Carolyn Hax did.  It has it’s good days, but the rough days seem to drain the emotional life right out of my bones.

I have things to do today.  Visit a friend, go to the hair salon, pick up a couple groceries.  Two of the children decided to decorate the bathroom mirror with toothpaste.  The other decided to take an hour to eat half a bowl of cereal – that she picked out!  The tattle tales are here in force today.  The tissue box is draining as fast as the noses are.  It’s raining and I left my son’s pants on the line.  Plus a million other little things that have to be dealt with and I need to be out of the house an hour ago.

I’m really trying to remember those days after my 2 miscarriages when I fell on my knees and cried to the Lord for a healthy child.  Right now I’m good and ready for a Mama Fit like Nina has.  Don’t worry I will bounce back.  Just pray for me and let me know if you’re having a rough time so I can pray for you.

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She Obviously Has No Child Care Experience

February 3, 2009 By 13 Comments

I received this scanned newspaper article via email. The author is Carolyn Hax writing for the Washington Post.  Well said Carolyn Hax!  I love the line “giving my forehead some keyboard.”  I personally had to pull my jawbone off the floor after reading the question.

You should be able to click on it to make it larger.


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To Volunteer or Not To Volunteer

November 27, 2007 By 1 Comment

I don’t remember and can’t find where I recently read about volunteering.  [If you ran across a post please let me know.]  The idea was that a mother should not be volunteering outside of the home if she will not work outside of the home.  It seemed to be making the two equal.

My opinion is that a full schedule of volunteering would be wrong.  I believe that a volunteer job is different than a paying job.  It is also different than a club or group. 

What is the difference?  The difference is who is in charge.  Obviously with a job the employer is in charge.  In a club or group that you pay dues to join there is someone in charge who tells you when to be where.  As a volunteer you pick what you want to do, when you want to do it, and how long you will commit to doing it.  In other words, you call the shots.

I do agree with Crystal that there is no greater work than raising children.  I believe that raising my children and taking care of my home is my first priority.

(Can you feel a “but” coming?)

I, like her, cut back on 99% of commitments and ministries outside my home.  It was a relief and I needed to do it.  However, there came a time when I felt disconnected, dejected, and discouraged.  Getting involved in some commitments outside my home greatly helped me.

Bear in mind that this is my experience.  Everyone is different and at different stages in the raising of their children.  Obviously, a mother of older children could do more with or without the children.

There was a comment left on Crystal’s post that I especially agree with.  Here is part of it.  It was left by Anonymous with no link included. [If you wrote this I would be glad to give you credit - just contact me.]

It is important that it not be viewed as ALL or NOTHING.  There is a middle ground.  We are instructed to see to the needs of our families first but this does not obliterate our responsibility to love our neighbors.  The best part?  These two can go hand in hand!

I just think it is easy for we mothers to feel so overwhelmed that we can be wanting to grab onto any reason we can to avoid doing outside acts of service.

Are you stressed from too many demands and not able to be a comforting spirit in the home; or are you hiding behind your mother duties?

My conclusion is that having a balance is key.  There were many suggestions left in the above mentioned comments how you can involve your children in your ministries.  

On the other hand, some time used to help others while the children are being babysat can be a boost much needed by a frazzled mother.  It can also let the children know that the world does not revolve around them.

Related Posts: Worth of a Stay at Home Wife and Mother , Worth of a Stay at Home Wife

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Worth of a Stay at Home Wife and Mother

November 9, 2007 By 4 Comments

Mother and Home, Mother's Babies First Issue Magazine, UK, 1909

When you are depressed it helps to know how much you are worth.

From a purely worldly view stay-at-home-moms [SAHM] are worth quite a bit.

Here is a quote from The Gazette:

Salary.com, a service that tallies average salaries by occupation, surveyed 40,000 mothers to determine the time they spend performing 10 typical job functions, such as day care teacher, cook, housekeeper and taxi driver. The average pay for those jobs, if someone else was hired for them, equaled $138,095 when you include overtime pay.

To see the Salary.com article click here.

$138,095!  That sounds good to me.

An article title The Value of Mothering by Barbara Wylan Sefton has this quote that focuses on just the child care part of being a SAHM.

The largest contribution of the stay-at-home mother is child care. The closest substitute is a full-time, in-home nanny.The Nanny Corporation of Ann Arbor, Michigan reports that compensation for full-time nannies ranges from $7.00 to $12.00 an hour, or $350 to $600 per week. In addition, the employer is responsible for Social Security and medicare taxes, unemployment insurance, and worker’s compensation insurance.

These articles prompted me to start thinking about all the skills a SAHM needs; how bits and pieces of full time jobs pop up every day in a SAHM’s life. 

I came up with the following list. If you think of more please add it/them in the comment section.

  • Maid/Cleaner/Housekeeper/Janitor
  • Babysitter/childcare/mothering
  • Executive Officer/Decision Maker/Manager
  • Accountant/money handler
  • Secretary
  • Chauffer
  • Seamstress
  • Chef/Baker/Cook
  • Personal Shopper
  • Entertainer/party planner
  • Teacher/etiquette guide/coach
  • Counselor/psychologist/Massage therapist
  • Stylist – hair and clothes
  • Nursing Assistant
  • Laundress
  • Decorator

No wonder SAHMs end up feeling overwhelmed at times.  Plus, how many women went to formal classroom schooling for all of those subjects?  Who did we learn them from?  Our mothers!

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All in a Morning’s Work

October 10, 2007 By 2 Comments

This morning I took the kids for a walk down to the fire station and back home.  When we got home my morning “fun” started.  This is what I did the hour before lunch.

I needed to get some laundry started, and I told the children that they could watch a DVD, thinking that this would expedite my getting some things done.  So I get the little DVD player and take the baby’s shoes off.  They picked out a DVD for me to put in, which I did before I put the stroller away.  On my way to the washer I filled the cat’s water bowl and moved the fan to blow in to where the children were watching their DVD.  I read a page of a kids book because my son wanted to know the name of the puppy in the book.  Then I clipped my hair out of my face and off my neck because I was hot from the walk.  It’s much cooler now, just sticking out all over.  Still didn’t start the washer.

I answered approx. 20 questions from my son and remembered I needed to brush my teeth, but made myself get the washer loaded.  While the washer was loading I handed out beef sticks to the kids and realized I needed to make some drink.  I got out the pitcher and told my son to bring his basket down while I hung a towel outside to dry.  After settling the dispute about my older daughter being on my son’s side of the couch I checked the washer.  On the way I picked up the baby girl’s stuffed dog to put in her crib because then I wouldn’t have to look for it at nap time.  The washer was full and agitating so I shut the lid.

Back to the kitchen I went to make the Kool-aid.  While that was filling I brushed my teeth; thankfully I had taken my shower before my husband left.  After the Kool-aid I made a jar of sun tea to put outside.  While that was filling I poured drinks for everybody, noticed there was a letter that needed to be mailed, and turned on the computer so it would be ready in a little bit.  After answering some more questions I carried the sun tea out to the sidewalk and the letter to the mailbox; all the while hoping that nobody I know would drive by because my hair really is sticking up crazy.  After picking up the baby that followed me out I went back inside to upload the pictures.  Photoshop was next then I finished Wordless Wednesday.

The washer was done so the clothes needed to be put in the dryer.  The baby girl had spit up on her clothes and the couch so I cleaned her and the couch up.  After I put the DVD player away and answered some more questions I got the table ready for lunch.  I switched the clothes to the dryer, put my son’s clothes in the washer, and went to get his sheets.  I told the oldest two to get the bologna, cheese, and carrots out of the fridge as I was carrying the sheets to the washer.

After I closed the washer I went to eat, but first I had to get the kids started…

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